faye_vallentine

Happy Thanksgiving to all whom I know!
And whom I don't want to see now because... people, you are awesome but at this very particular period of time you cannot give me what I long for. But if all of a sudden you seem her, tell her I'm still waiting for her return because without her I'm just a doll with no soul.
Thanks for being with me all this time.

They are tickets that I collect


Vienna was splendid.
When I was reading "Thrilling cities" by Ian Flemming, I was a bit shocked: he spent 3 days in Vienna (the same period as I did) and he hasn't visited a single museum, nothing! He had a lunch with someone if I'm not mistaken, went to listen to the Vienna Boy's Choir and went to see a performance at the Spanish Horseriding school. When I was reading, I couldn't understand how he could waste precious time on such trifles! Wasting time on such trifles turned out to be quite pleasant. Because capitals of European neighbouring countries (I mean, of one region) are very similar and if you've seen one of them, you've seen all. Paris, Venice, Budapest, Prague, Vienna are all similar to each other, Europe is small, architectural tendencies and trends influence each other and intermingle greatly.

The Choir was touring (the same about the Opera company), and a horseriding performance was on Sunday the earliest, so I decided to cast the original plan to the winds and in the end visited only the Schatzkammer and Schonbrunn. But I had a wonderful stroll along the Danube embankment and around the city centre, went to see the Hundertwasserhaus, visited das Haus des Meers, drove to Linz and Grein, swam in a lake on the last day of my stay and left my swimming suit there!


* I hate European train compartments! The designer did think about comfort but from the point of view of how to ruin it and he has virtually succeeded. The Soviet version of the train compartment is much more comfortable.
* I was patted on my lower back. It was in the kitchen in the early morning. I was wearing my friend's dressing gown and her husband had only arrived that night, he still hadn't recovered from the jet lag and hadn't realized the fact that there was one more girl in the house. We all laughed.
* Vienna, Friday evening, parking lot in front of a supermarket. Two young men of about our age pack big plastic bags with the logo of the shop into the boot of the car and close it. There's a notice on the rear window. "Just married".
My friend: - These guys are just married.
Her husband: - You mean these gays are just married.
Me: - It doesn't matter if they are ok with it.
* but on the whole I liked Linz more.

Vienna is beautiful. Although I liked the Paris Operahouse more. I might book tickets for a performance in the Vienna Operahouse and get a visa just to listen to an opera. Schonbrunn schloss ist wirklich sehr schon, however, the part I liked there most was the Labyrinth and the Maze, I spent there about an hour and it was great!

Damn it, I'm not a goddess, neither a fairy and I don't create miracles.
There are no miracles. It's all calculation and arrangement. (c) Code Geass R2

I am quite capable of all this calculation and arrangement but I want to find someone to do it for me! I'm sick and tired of doing everything by myself. Need to change something but where to start?..

I'm selfish. It's normal for me - I don't like people in general; indeed, I live among them, I get what I need/want from them and that's all, I'm not kind, I'm simply polite - but even more often than sometimes I do something for people around me (it can be anything from a piece of cake that I baked myself or rather an expensive gift that I bought because you liked it to a bunch of lilac that I collected at dawn simply because I wanted to see your smile). And I'm absolutely puzzled when they can't even take it! I don't ask for anything in response, I don't even expect that you do something other than smile and accept what I've done with a 'thank you'! If it's okay for me to do/present it, what is so difficult for you in acceptance of it?
I hate such situations. After them I don't usually want to do anything for people for a long time. Well, Hell is paved with good intentions but this is not the case!

Will you be so kind and stop these fucking experiments with rain/sunshine/amount of precipitation?! I want to leave home in the morning in a t-shirt and a skirt and be absolutely sure that I won't need a fur-coat and an umbrella a couple of hours later! It's so bothersome to put it mildly!
Thank you for your consideration of my plea.

Best,
Faye

1. Things to do
- send 3 postcards - they are cute
- sort the papers from my studies, dispose of those that I won't need next year - simply put them into a neat pile, lazy lady.
- fill in the application forms for my next year studies (both!) - got enrolled!
- paint my nails - deep red, but I like the colour
- dye the hair dark red - yeah, the exact colour I wanted
- decide on a summer job if any
- watch 3 series and 2 movies and either delete them or burn them down on dvds - all done
- visit Milex-2009 - it was interesting, especially the rifles
- put the final touches to the translation and the fanfics to the fanbook - done

2. Things to read
- Mysterious Asia
- 'Forbes' - interesting and useful
- Cocktail Bible - finished and turned into practice. Tasty!
- the guide on the sights of the GDL
- the Amulet of Samarkand by J.Stroud
- the textbook on International Public Law
- Congress reports on the problem in Somalia and piracy

The distress I'm experiencing because of my grandma is so huge that the visit of my father's relatives whom I'm particularily not fond of even starts to appeal to me! Damn it, and these people are my family?! Don't want any then.
Dear God, you have a splendid sense of humour but isn't it enough? At least you don't have any relatives! So why do we have to experience it? Unfair!

I'm used to flattering myself that I'm priceless, but in reality I cost both too much and quite normal at the same time. I cost a comfortable house and two smart children. But I'll never tell it to anyone.

Sometimes I wish I could pick up the phone and dial your number... And dump everything that bothers me onto you and hear - or rather feel - your compassionate laughter and know that everything's going to be all right and I'll be able to go back to the place where I belong and find her there and hug her... And you'll be there as well, watching us and smiling. Your smile is warm and it always cheers me up and gives me strength... But you... you don't realy need my problems, right? Moreover, she is not there anymore. She got lost somewhere in this world because I slipped her hand at one point... So I just smile holding back my tears and textmessage you with trifles instead making you smile and letting you know I'll live it through.
Nothing serious really, It's just spring. And I wish, wish and wish but my wishes never come true...

Rules:
1. Answer every question, using search at flickr.com
2. Choose one photo from first 3 pages.
3. Copy photo links here: www.bighugelabs.com/flickr/mosaic.php
4. Create your mosaic.

Questions:
1. First Name
2. Favorite Food
3. Hometown
4. Favorite Color
5. Celebrity Crush
6. Favorite Drink
7. Dream Vacation
8. Favorite Dessert
9. What I Want To Be When I Grow Up
10. What I Love Most In The World
11. One Word That Describes Me
12. My LiveJournal Name

The result is like this:


1. Not available, 2. Stewed Fruit and Custard Crumble, 3. minsk (capital of belarus), 4. Yellow Color Guggenheim Reflection, 5. brad mehldau # 7, 6. Tequila Sunrise, 7. Maldives wallpaper 4 u, 8. Happy Hour Trifles - trifle shot!, 9. Leicester University, James Stirling, architect, 10. We don't have much time, she said, so I'll just tell you about me~, 11. A Little Touch Of SunShine, 12. Faye Valentine - Cowboy Bebop, 13. Rain Love

But do I really need this change of the date?
It's kind of strange to sum up everything and realise that I've been moving not onwards but backwards instead!
I'm at university again, still in two minds about my job and what I want to do, still indecisive about the man I'd like to be with (sometimes I wish I dated someone more enthusiastic about entertaining, someone who would be able to party all night and yet fly the morning flight), still not knowing how to move house once again and start a home of my own.

I still want to study abroad for a year - not because I do need this education, but because I need a year of freedom, with no one around me who holds the crystal chains attached to my ankles and wrists. I want to be a master of my own life, I want to party all night, I want to study and work, eat out, come home late and not to be told that all this is absolutely improper for a girl like me and that I should devote all my life to studying for my degree. It's like a joke that Nicole told us once:
"When you're a child, grownups ask you what do you want to become in life. And you study.
When you're a teenager, grownups ask you which IHE do you want to enter. And you study.
When you're a young man, grownups ask you where do you want to work. And you study.
When you're a grownup and you work, other grownups ask you whether you had fun in your life."
Moreover, I don't want to specialize in the sphere I have my diploma. It's too boring, too dull and too useless from the point of view of practical application. Why should I spend a year of my life on something I don't view as useful for the society I live in?

I want to go travelling at last and see the world!
I want to attend a reception in an embassy.
I want to learn to dance the waltz.
I want to go on holiday somewhere to the seaside and ride everything that can be ridden! I mean waterskies, and paraglide and waverunner and rafts and - everything!
I want to attend a wedding.
I want a fairy tale created specially for me! I'm sick and tired of making them for everyone else. I just want to lay my hands on my lap and smile at being gifted a fairy tale.
I'm not strong, it's only an illusion, I'm fragile and this year I was as close to my breaking point as I'd never been before. And if I break, I'll just make a call and have a friend of mine clean all the mess, but that wouldn't make us both happy in the end. And I doubt that I wouldn't regret it. And I want no regrets.
So simply may this year give me myself, ok?

***
It was snowing here a bit, but it had melted down by Friday. That's a pity for we were planning to have had a snowball battle and now it's delayed. Guess it's just too early for a proper winter. Although I'd like to have all the snow and snowfalls, and all the fun while making snowmen, walking around frozen parks and quietly sipping mulled wine afterwards.
***
I've introduced my brother to my card partners, they seem to like each other. And congratulations to me on my first winning the game! Yeah, we've been playing since June every Friday or Saturday and I had never won - not until today! Feel proud of myself.
***
Thursday was funny. On leaving the office I bumped into a friend of mine who studies there and since we hadn't seen each other for ages, we went to treat ourselves to pizza. A couple of pleasantly spent hours with a nice person followed. I like her although we meet once in a blue moon.
***
On Friday I had an hour and a half break and I decided to have a normal lunch in a cafe nearby. Now I'm absolutely sure that I dislike the interior design of TempoPizza near the Academy of Science. And you know, i'm not used to eat alone so it felt a bit funny and strange but not that uncomfortable as I had thought it might've been. I had a textbook to occupy myself inbetween soup and coffee.
***
America celebrated Thanksgiving day on Nov 27 and since I currently deal with English and run this lj in it I'd like to list some people who I'm particulary thankful - just because you exist and we know each other:
Flora
exaltrse
stari4ek

A couple of questions from helle_reen:

01) Are you currently in a serious relationship?
yeah. Period. No comments.

02) What was your dream growing up?
I wanted to become an architect but it would have meant a dreadful condition of my already poor eyesight, so I had to give up the idea

03) What talent do you wish you had?
flying? making people happier? oh, wait, I know! The ability to teleport.

04) If I bought you a drink what would it be?
martini, please.

05) Favorite vegetable?
don't have. Only unfavourite.

06) What was the last book you read?
Terry Pratchett's Small gods.

07) What zodiac sign are you?
Taurus.

08) Any Tattoos and/or Piercings? Explain where.
My ears are pierced. Fnd I would like to have a blue-and-red humming-bird on the inside of my right wrist. Or a black dolphin, but the place is too painful to have it tattooed. Besides, my skin doesn't heal well. The latest version was just a Celtic pattern on my back right above my waist, but I'm still thinking about it.

09) Worst Habit?
say "yeah" and not doing things

10) If you saw me walking down the street would you offer me a ride?
certainly, sweetheart)

11) What is your favorite sport?
hockey) but really, I'm not a great sports lover.

12) Do you have a Pessimistic or Optimistic attitude?
incurably optimistic )

13) What would you do if you were stuck in an elevator with me?
talk)

14) Worst thing to ever happen to you?
do my relatives count?

15) Tell me one weird fact about you.
I always put off composing tests till the very last moment.

16) Do you have any pets?
had 2 cats, now want a dog

17) What if I showed up at your house unexpectedly?
Come in, sweetheart! Green tea, right?)

18) What was your first impression of me?
cute! The name "Flora" really suits you)

19) Do you think clowns are cute or scary?
sometimes witty and they can have me in stitches but rarely. In general they are stupid.

20) If you could change one thing about how you look, what would it be?
hair! Sometimes I'd like it to be straight.

21) Would you be my crime partner or my conscience?
for sure, crime partner! BTW, what crime are we speaking about?

22) What color eyes do you have?
grayish-green

23) Ever been arrested?
no.

24) Bottle or can soda?
bottle.

25) If you won $10,000 today, what would you do with it?
go traveling as well!

27) What's your favorite place to hang out at?
don't have it right now)

28) Do you believe in ghosts?
no.

29) Favorite thing to do in your spare time?
read fics and books, watch series and go for walks)

30) Do you swear a lot?
no, one more funny thing - I swear mentally and only in English)

31) Biggest pet peeve?
have you found out what it means?

32) In one word, how would you describe yourself?
creative)

33) Do you believe/appreciate romance?
mm, when it seems to fit reality)

34) Favorite and least favorite food?
hate boiled carrots and dill. Except these eat practically everything that's tasty

35) Do you believe in God?
I don't know

A friend of mine married an Austrian last month. No, I haven't been present at their wedding - it was kind of a relatives-only event but I wasn't disappointed either way. He lives there in Austria for 3 weeks in a month and spends one week here, with her. Kind of a guest marriage, isn't it? This and also the often repeated question "When are you marrying at last?!" made me think about my own position. And it turned out to be rather simple.
The man I would like to marry - however smart (oh yeah, due to it he has a wonderful bank account with a tidy sum), handsome, serious, outstanding, trustworthy and determined and loyal to his people he is - just doesn't exist! He is a fiction for our world, merely a fictional character, though I can only hope that there is another world in the necklace and he does exist there and moreover, he and the other me are married - she'll make a perfect wife for him, I'm absolutely sure.
The second-best man for me is fine, he is a real person, he is… well, more than I would even hope for to have as a husband. But he has just one disadvantage that overweighs everything - he lives in the wrong country! I don't want to deal with their upside-down turned politics, with their uncertainty and their society split into two political camps. Don't want. I have enough of my local (family) tension.
The third? You are joking, right?

No, I'm not going to write here anything. I'm kind of... banned into the mode "read only". This is my personal choice, I have another place to express myself. And here I just read what attracts my interest.

And now time for the game from helle_reen
Rules:
1. Leave me a comment saying anything random.
2. I respond by asking you five personal questions so I can get to know you better.
3. You will update your LJ with the answers to the questions.
4. You will include this explanation and offer to ask someone else in the post.
5. When others comment asking to be asked, you will ask them five questions.

1) The most beautiful place you've been is?
Not sure. Each place is beautiful in its own way, although I was greatly impressed by the Academy of Fine Arts in Dresden and Palais Royal in Paris. And I adore my native city.
But for me it was - and still is - the Forum of the Upper market in Paris and that square that is called the Heart of Paris, you know, where there is an elegant and lofty church and the building of the Stock Exchange in the distance.

2) Five words to describe your job?
Creative. Imaginative. Always on the alert. Interesting. Vague limits of job responsibilities.

3) Have you ever shared umbrella with stranger?
Yes! He just squeezed under my favourite green with butterflies and I was too kind-hearted to drive him out into the rain. We talked about jazz, I wrote about it. It was a year ago or something.

4) The dish you cook the best?
Stewed vegetables (egg-plants, tomatoes and peppers) with rice.

5) When should I plan on buying a dress for your wedding, darling?
Well, if my counting is good, in 1,5 years you can start finding what you like. If everything goes smoothly, in 6 more months you can buy a dress =)

And honey, you asked about our desktop. Here it is. All messed up but in special chaotic order - everything can be found here, but only by us.


*the elbow's mine*